Women’s bathrooms are far more than the rooms we visit to perform our ablutions

Women’s bathrooms are far more than the rooms we visit to perform our ablutions. 

They are where we go to do our make-up, cry, gossip, laugh — to bond with other women.

When we become mothers, they are where we dash with our toddlers before — or after — they have an accident.
In short, they are female sanctuaries.

I once took a positive pregnancy test in the ladies’ loo at House of Fraser. Another time, I was in the toilet at London’s Soho Theatre when I realised I was miscarrying another baby.

Both times, I was with female friends who supported me.
These are not experiences I would have wished to share with strange men.

When I was younger, the women’s toilets in nightclubs and pubs were a private haven, somewhere to escape the unwanted attentions of persistent men.

I want my six-year-old daughter to have these same safe spaces available to her when she is older.

So it was with some horror that, earlier this month, I found myself in a West End theatre having quite the opposite experience.

That night, I was expecting to see Cabaret.

I certainly didn’t anticipate that, during the interval, I’d also be ‘treated’ to an impromptu performance of Privates on Parade.

But, thanks to the Playhouse Theatre’s gender-neutral toilet policy, that’s exactly what I got — front-row tickets to the unwelcome spectacle of a row of embarrassed men relieving themselves at urinals.
Opera glasses were not required.

Why? There are no longer any Ladies’ toilets at the Playhouse Theatre.

Facilities once reserved for women are labelled simply ‘Toilets’ and open to both sexes. The only other option are labelled ‘Urinals’.

You don’t have to be a genius to work out that this means, in effect, that all the theatre’s toilets are for men.

Theatre staff ushered me and other bemused women into the urinals (where there were also two cubicles) because what was formerly the ‘Ladies’ was utterly oversubscribed.

This isn’t an isolated incident.

Last week in her column, Sarah Vine wrote an impassioned piece about how the rise of gender-neutral toilets — which, while intended to help, make many people deeply uncomfortable — exemplifies the insanity of the modern age.

Her words sparked a strong reaction from readers, who inundated the Mail with letters supporting her view.

I also find myself deeply concerned at the seemingly insidious spread of gender-neutral toilets across Britain.

For they are more than just a ‘right on’ nod to the semantics of gender identity.

They are nothing short of an erosion of women’s rights, an attack on a precious safe space. 

This audit proves how widespread unisex loos have become.

They’re found in workplaces, restaurants, schools and universities, department stores and the studios of ‘anti-woke’ TV channel GB News.

I have been forced to take my daughter to a gender-neutral loo in one of London’s most refined department stores, Liberty.

Surprised, she asked why there were men queuing in ‘our’ loo, which thankfully was all cubicles without urinals.

Regardless, though, it’s potentially very confusing for children like her, as teachers at her school are (rightly) strict about girls and boys ‘keeping their privates private’.

Indeed, when a boy exposed himself to her at school last year, she was congratulated for telling the teacher, he was berated, and both I and his mum were called to see the head for a solemn debrief.

What mixed messages are we sending children, then, with these gender-neutral facilities?

More than this, my daughter is becoming aware of the need to protect her privacy, and to explore her independence — proud to be able to go to the toilet on her own without me in attendance.

But would you allow your six-year-old to use a gender-neutral public toilet alone, alongside adult men? Would you want your young daughter to glimpse grown men’s penises at a urinal?

Soon, I fear, it will be too late, and all women, young and old, may find themselves at theatres, museums or restaurants, shuffling past exposed men.

Unisex toilets have been popping up in public spaces for the past decade, since gender-reassignment discrimination became illegal under the Equality Act 2010.

In London, their spread can be traced back to Mayor Sadiq Khan’s 2017 guidance that all new commercial developments in the capital should feature them.

Under the terms of the Act, organisations can be taken to court if transgender people feel they are being treated worse than others.

However, the law is murky.

While single-sex bathrooms can be viewed as discriminatory, making all toilets gender neutral could also be seen as discrimination on the grounds of religion.

But how does changing the sign on a toilet door from ‘Men’s’ or ‘Ladies’ to ‘Gender Neutral’ protect a transgender person? All it does is make all females — both ‘cis’, as biological women are dubbed, and trans — feel less safe.

Most concerning is the fact that unisex loos are being forced on our children, with their adoption in some schools — both primary and secondary.

In 2017, the head of the prestigious Highgate School in North London had to apologise to parents after introducing gender-neutral lavatories without consultation. Pupils said they made them feel ‘less comfortable and happy’.

There have been many anecdotal reports claiming some girls now won’t eat or drink all day at school to avoid using mixed-sex toilets, putting their health at risk.

And all this against the backdrop of a sexual assault crisis in schools.

Remember, a 2021 Ofsted review showed sexual harassment in educational establishments has become normalised. Surely gender-neutral loos will only exacerbate the problem?

Some trans lobbyists may be delighted at the encroachment of gender-neutral loos, but by and large, these toilets please no one.

In 2018, female Home Office employees refused to use the newly installed gender-neutral toilets —which cost taxpayers £36,000 — as they felt ‘distressed’ by their male colleagues leaving the cubicle doors open while they urinated.

At the Playhouse Theatre on the night I attended, men also expressed their discomfort.

One elderly man looked extremely alarmed.

Unsurprisingly, decent men don’t like urinating in front of women, any more than women like changing their sanitary protection with men just a few feet away.

So what can we all do? Boycott venues that offer only unisex loos?
Cross our legs? 

There are solutions, but they tend to be expensive.

If venues really want to provide toilets that are safe for everyone, they should construct bathrooms that contain a set of fully enclosed cubicles (no gaps over and under the door for peering), complete with individual mirrors and sinks.

Alternatively, they could provide three types of toilet: Men’s, Women’s and Unisex.
Or, if this isn’t possible, they can just leave the toilets as they are. Common sense should apply.

Yes, trans people need safe spaces, but so do women, and, once again, terbaik sumatera it’s women’s rights that are being flushed away.

Call me cruel, but at the Playhouse Theatre, part of me felt pleasure at the men’s discomfort.

I may even have paused a little longer than necessary at the sink to apply some lipstick, just to drive the point home.

Because in our society, men’s voices are still louder than women’s. And I fear it’s only when we make their displeasure heard that things will change.

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